nicholasI had just moved into a new live/work space in the city. It was a series of industrial, white art studio-esque rooms almost in a horseshoe shape framing a small concrete courtyard.
I had only been on the premises a day or two when I noticed really pronounced disturbances. I couldn’t get any work done, things were really neglected and required work but I couldn’t quite get it together. I realized there was some sort of malevolent force at work preventing me from getting settled.
I soon realized that my courtyard was inhabited by stagnant, malevolent spirits. I proceeded to attempt a series of banishment exercises. I succeeded several times at permanently destroying, repelling, and blocking increasingly stronger beings. I realized I had progressed from ghosts to demons over the course of my ritual activities. I was doing it merely out of a sense of obligation to my new digs, I was on no particular mission to speak of.
Around the same time as I had realized that I was capable of handling the situation, a friend of mine came to visit. He was a former employer who I was close with. He wanted to check out the space. I led him into one of the sparsely furnished rooms and proceeded to catch up.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door and I realized I had another visitor. Upon meeting him I instantly realized he was in fact Satan himself. He was tall and elegantly dressed like a British gentleman from the 19th century; long-tailed tweed outer-coat, vest, tight breeches, and pointy boots. He had a scarf, tucked ascot-style into his open shirt front. His hair was slicked back, long in the back, with bushy sideburns that tapered into a point on his jawline.
He was incredibly courteous but felt deeply dangerous, like at any time if he grew tired of my company he could relegate me to some of the most painful experiences possible.
His face was in constant flux between three forms. One was an extremely angular, almost lupine human face. The other was a leering, long-toothed, savage, predatory reptilian persona. The final state would be an open skull with no eyeballs that blended into the skin of his head. The features of these three were blending in an almost liquid fashion as we conversed.
I invited him to show him the place as he was obviously interested in seeing the premises. I walked him inside and into the first room. I introduced him to my other guest and tried to laterally suggest to my former boss to remain well-behaved considering the company. I had to step out of the room momentarily to attend to some other duty.
After some time I came back and realized Satan was outside in the courtyard. He was leaning on his walking stick and staring wistfully up at the sky. We began chatting again and he let me know that he was quite impressed with my abilities at keeping his minions at bay. He made it obvious that I was by no means prepared for any serious banishments and protection magic but that I had promised.
He suggested I spend some time apprenticing with him, “no strings attached”. I suddenly grew nervous and realized that my other guest hadn’t appeared in some time. I excused myself to go check in on him. I walked back into the room where we had been gathered before. There was some debris on the floor like there had been a commotion. Oddly there was an enormous black suitcase on the ground. It was zipped only halfway around the circumference so I thought to peel back the open flap to peer inside.
Inside was my friend. He had been blasted into many pieces as if carefully butchered by an explosion. His various bloody chunks, some of which still had clothing remnants on them were layered and organized such that he fits neatly into the rectangular interior of the suitcase. His remains had become perfectly portable.
I soon realized that he was still quite alive, or animate at best. At the topmost corner of the suitcase where the opening was his jaw and the lower portion of his face was perfectly positioned. His tongue was placed accurately next to the bottom corner of his head. I watched with a muted horror as the pieces articulated in time with his speech. He went on to describe to me how he had made an offhand remark to the devil and he had been instance lushly blown into bits and summarily rendered into his current form. He went on to explain how he had just been condemned to an eternal torture and was imprisoned by the devil from here on in on account of his snarky impulses.
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